9 Life Hacks for a Better Life NOW! – BioTrust Radio #33

Want to be a better, healthier, more productive person? Looking to gain more purpose in your life? Want to have a greater impact on those people around you? Interested in leading a happier, more fulfilling life? If so, you’re not going to want to miss this episode of BioTrust Radio where we reveal 9 life hacks that can literally transform you and your life. Enjoy!

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According to author Gretchen Rubin, one of today’s most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature, “Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness. If we have habits that work for us, we’re much more likely to be happy, healthy, productive, and creative.”

And we know that everyone who’s listening to the BioTrust Radio aspires to be the best version of themselves. That’s why we like to visit — and re-visit — essential life hacks, and in this episode, we’ll discuss the following 9 life hacks that can literally transform you and your life when practiced consistently (that’s what a habit is, after all):

  • #1 of 9 Life Hacks: Give yourself a compliment everyday – the power of your words and thoughts on yourself and others
  • #2 of 9 Life Hacks #2: Avoid making excuses – take responsibility and learn from your experiences
  • #3 of 9 Life Hacks: Get rid of any anger in your life – understand where anger comes from and how to deal with it – understand the value of communication and why you need to take SIX DEEP breaths — not just one
  • #4 of 9 Life Hacks: Be open to change – learn to control what you can and manage the chaos – spontaneity and change bring opportunities and memories
  • #5 of 9 Life Hacks: Become a role model – embrace the opportunity to be a mentor to others and live your life as if the people you care about most are watching
  • #6 of 9 Life Hacks: Forgive someone who hurt you – bearing a grudge can be a huge anchor and tear your life (and others apart) – it can hold you back from being the best version of you
  • #7 of 9 Life Hacks: Listen to people more – communication is a two-way street – be patient and respectful of others
  • #8 of 9 Life Hacks: Listen to yourself – listen to your body and what it’s telling you – listen to how you talk to yourself and others
  • #9 of 9 Life Hacks: Learn something new – discover more about yourself, your friends, your family, new people, new places, new things, and more to enrich your life

And as we talk about these, we’re certain to reveal even more life hacks that can transform you and your life. Enjoy!

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Transcript – 9 Life Hacks for a Better You NOW!


Shawn:        Hello BioTrust faithful. We love our BioTrust Nation here on BioTrust Radio.

Tim:              It’s a tribe, man.

Shawn:        That’s right. And this is Shawn Wells. I’m your host. And also with me is the most amazing and brilliant and good-looking, and just really awesome dude named Tim Skwiat.

Tim:              Thanks brother.

Shawn:        Yeah, of course. So, we got a lot of great feedback when we did the list, and we’ll have a link for it in this one. It was really our most listened-to episode. It was like the 11. What was it exactly?

Tim:              11 Ways to a Better You.

Shawn:        Yeah.

Tim:              And we found it on a minimalist website. Joshua Becker.

Shawn:        Yeah, and it was phenomenal. And I happened to actually listen to it this morning. I was on a plane early this morning, and I loved it as well. I decided to go back because so many people talked about it. And it was so good. So, I thought, why not do one or two more of these lists that really look at being a better you or life hacks, or whatever you want to call it, ways to a better life.

And everyone has a different list, so why not read someone’s list, but then put our spin on it.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Give our thoughts, like that make sense, we agree, or is there some that don’t make sense. But I thought it’d be fun to have a framework that we use to drill down into. So, this one we have here is called 9 Simple Habits That Will Make You a Better Person, and it is from Great Performers Academy. Again we’ll have a link in the show notes.

And by the way, if you listen to us on Google Play, Stitcher, and iTunes, thank you very much. Please subscribe, download all that good stuff. But know that if you go to BioTrustRadio.com and listen to our episodes there, you get the transcripts. You get links and show notes, and all kinds of extra things that you just don’t get anywhere else. But however you listen to us, we appreciate it, deeply.

Tim:              Absolutely.

Shawn:        So, let’s dig in, Tim. And the first one of these life hacks is “Give yourself a compliment every day.”

Tim:              Yeah, I like that life hacks. If you have the image of Stuart Smalley in your head.

Shawn:        Yeah.

Tim:              You’re not alone. But I like that.

Shawn:        Daily Affirmations.

Tim:              Exactly. And we’ve talked about daily affirmations before, and those voices in our head—whether they’re our own or other people’s—and how impactful they can be. And I like the idea of this, especially at the beginning of the day, to really set the tone for the day. We’ve talked about gratitude a lot, before, at the beginning of the day, to help set the tone and to help put things into proper perspective.

But this idea of a compliment or a positive affirmation can be really powerful in setting the tone for a great day. I think it should be genuine. I think it should be specific, and I think it should be something that carries some weight with you, as well. So, that’s not something that I currently do, but I think it’s a good idea to start.

Shawn:        It’s a good one. I know a couple that’s a power couple. They’re multi-multi-millionaires and they have a massive brand; Chris and Laurie Harder. They’re in my Mastermind. And Laurie told me some really good advice. She said one, always, Shawn, protect your energy because it’s the most valuable thing that you have. More than anything else you have, protect your energy. There’s energy vampires out there. And I thought that was great advice. But that wasn’t the advice that relates to this. She said that every morning she and her husband, before they get out of bed, say the same thing. And they have to say it enough until they believe it, before they’re allowed to get out of bed. They say, “I’m healthier and wealthier than I was yesterday.” And I thought that was interesting.

Maybe that’s not everyone’s goal, but they’re very successful. They’re success‑oriented people. And I just like the idea that not only does she say it, but then she says it until she believes it. Then she’s allowed to get out of bed. So, we’ve talked about Tony Robbins and the power positive thought. And the words you say transform you. The words you say are what you become. So, envision yourself where you want to be.

A lot of people say negative things about themselves, and then some people are realists and just say where they’re at. But the people that are truly happy and truly successful, see themselves where they want to be. And those are the words they use. “I’m on this mission. Here’s where I will be and nothing will stop me from being there. That’s where I see myself and that’s who I am, because I will continue to grow.”

Tim:              Yeah. That’s awesome. Can I just piggyback on that, two things?

Shawn:        No.

Tim:              Ah, get off my back! Two things that you had said there that really stood out to me. One was the way that you talked about, the couple, it’s the way they phrased it—healthier and wealthier—like it’s an activation.

Shawn:        Yes, exactly.

Tim:              Another way to take that is instead of a compliment, maybe just really what your goal for the day is or what you hope to accomplish with that day. Maybe that’s another alternative, like, “I’m going to make a difference today.”

Shawn:        Exactly.

Tim:              “I’m going to be a change agent today.” Something like that. Maybe a different approach to it. And then the second part that I took away from what you just said was give someone else a compliment. If you are fortunate enough to be married or live with a significant other, for you and I, we should compliment our wives maybe. We’ve talked about this before, just tell them that you love them. Give them a hug or something like that. But being mindful of how your compliments or words, or affirmations, can have a positive impact on someone else.

Shawn:        It’s huge, huge and transformative. All right, so the next one of these life hacks is, “Avoid making excuses.” Man, like you want to talk about powerful life hacks. Going back to what Tony Robbins was saying, where we victimize ourselves. And Tony’s got into some controversy at times by almost not being as seemingly empathetic as he should be to people that have had serious plights. But the thing is, if you understand where Tony’s coming from, he says he really doesn’t want you to languish in that negativity, in that space where you’re victimizing yourself. You need to move beyond that.

And the only way you can do that is stop making excuses. Stop looking externally and just stop blaming everyone else, and own it, and move past it. No, you don’t need to just focus on, “Oh, I’m a terrible person,” and internalize everything. That’s not the right answer either, but you do need to own something. Don’t blame everyone else and everything else. You own it, you accept it, you move past it, it’s a lesson, let’s go.

Tim:              That’s “lesson,” is an awesome word that you use right there and something that we’ve talked about many times, like these challenges, these obstacles that we face, that we overcome. These are all learning opportunities. So, use those mistakes as lessons. Always take something away from those situations. They’re all learning opportunities.

I mean, think about it from the other side of the coin. How often do you love hearing excuses from someone? I don’t know about you, but it’s just not very flattering. So, think about it. It sounds the same coming from you. And so, avoiding those, making those excuses, is really good advice.

Shawn:        Well, I’ll tell you. I’m the CSO here at BioTrust, so I have a lot of responsibility. I have a lot of people that work with me, including you. And I’ve never talked about the business end of BioTrust but one thing, Josh Bezoni is the CEO and I answer to him, and we have meetings. And I’ll tell you right now, when he says, “Why did this happen?” the first thing I think to say is, “It’s my department, it’s my responsibility. I’ll look into it, I’ll fix it. You don’t have to worry about it from here. I’ll take care of it.” And the conversation ends. I’ll tell you what though, maybe say, “Oh well, it so‑and‑so’s fault. It’s not my fault. It’s someone in my department’s fault.” Well, how does that make me look as someone who’s supposed to be leading the department?

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        I don’t know what’s going on in my department and I’m blaming people that I’m responsible for, that answer to me? That doesn’t sound very good. It’s never a short conversation after that.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        You think that’s going to somehow bail you out, but it’s not.

Tim:              No.

Shawn:        What people want to hear is that you got it under control and it’s not going to happen again. And that’s true in every case. Wherever you give an excuse to someone, man, if you just own it and say, “I got. It I realize what happened. It’s not going to happen again. Let’s move on,” I think it’s like problem solved. So, I would encourage people to not make excuses and own things, and your life’s going to be better as a result. You’re going to empower yourself.

Tim:              Absolutely.

Shawn:        So, I’ll let you take this one, but the next one on the list of life hacks is “Get rid of any anger in your life.”

Tim:              These are heavy life hacks for sure. You know, anger is destructive. It’s very distracting and destructive, and you can probably take the destructive part of it a little bit deeper. But distracting, what I mean by that is that when we’re angry at someone or something, all of our energy is going toward that, right? So, it’s distracting us from other things that we should be doing or thinking about. And I think of it like that because I see stress the same way. Stress is very distracting. It can really give us tunnel vision, and anger is the same way, and we just put so much into that one thing. It reminds me of those cartoons where that ball is rolling down the hill, the ball of snow is rolling down the hill and it’s just picking up more and more snow. That anger just snowballs and there’s nothing good that comes out of it, especially as you hold it inside of you.

Shawn:        You know, I’ve told you that I’m a dorky nerd.

Tim:              Not just a nerd; a dorky nerd.

Shawn:        A dorky nerd. And I love Star Wars. But, Yoda actually has some of the best quotes, and what you just said about the snowball and anger, check this quote out. I mean, see if it doesn’t floor you. “Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.” He is a fierce little puppet, in this in this movie, but man, there’s a few quotes that Yoda has that are just like, “Whoa!” And to me, that’s actually one of the all-time great philosophical quotes that really wraps up. Because what this doesn’t say here is that yeah, get rid of anger in your life, but what does anger stem from? Anger stems from fear. Why are you angry? It’s coming from a place of fear. You’re scared. You’re not a tough guy because you’re angry; you’re scared.

Like racism, where does that come from? Sexism, where does that come from? Fear, right? And then, what is the result of anger? Hate. Anger, the next level of anger is hate. And hate, I feel like is just seething and just under your skin and unbecoming and just takes over you, consumes you. And now you’re something that you never wanted to be.

Tim:              Yeah.

Shawn:        And that is when you’re in the dark side. I mean, that’s when you’ve crossed over to this place that hopefully you can come back from. But there’s people that don’t come back. Their anger is chronic, and then they start to believe in this hate, and then they project out hate and want to hurt people. Did they start that way? No. It started from fear.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        And they went down this path.

Tim:              So, along those lines, the anger is causing bad decisions. But even physical manifestations in terms of high blood pressure, poor food choices, and things like that. It’s one thing to say don’t be angry, but how might we better deal with that anger? Meditate, pray, talk to someone about it.

Shawn:        Right.

Tim:              If I’m angry at you, maybe have that conversation with you and say, “Hey, this is what I’m feeling. This didn’t go right.”

Shawn:        Right. Right or wrong, this is what I’m feeling.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        And I want to honor that by talking to you about it, because that’s a healthy thing to do.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Yeah, exactly. That’s always going to be a good thing. I think the advice of take a minute and just breathe and take a step back before you do or say something impulsively that you’ll regret, is one step. And then the other step is communicating.
Because quite often, you might not have all the pieces, or you might not what know what that person is going through. You may have that broken lens.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        So, communication can solve that. Taking a step back can solve that.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Get out of your own head.

Tim:              But one thing real quick, because you talked about taking a deep breath. Your friend Aubrey Marcus, who we mentioned before, actually talked about this before. It actually takes six deep breaths to really get the physiological stress response to calm down. Just FYI. So, there’s another one of these life hacks.

Shawn:        No, that’s great advice.

Tim:              Some practical take-aways from this. Six deep breaths would be the key.

Shawn:        So, there you go. So, six deep breaths and then talk to that person you’re angry at. And I think you can radically change your life, quite frankly, with just that. Because I’ll tell you what, holding hostility, again, that’s going to lead you to a dark place and it will destroy you.

Tim:              If you can learn to communicate and take communication better, that can radically change your life. Communication is another one of these life hacks.

Shawn:        Yeah.

Tim:              Having those crucial conversations on the other side of the coin. That’s tremendous. That’s transformational.

Shawn:        Right. It may be awkward, but compared awkward to holding onto something for years.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Festering. All right, so, this is a good conversation. These are deep, Tim. Okay next on the list of life hacks is “Be open to change.” I like these life hacks. Man, I’ll tell you what. Life will pass you by if you’re not open to change, because change—as they say—is inevitable, right? And if you’re not open to change, you will be someone who’s deeply frustrated, because it’s coming, like it or not. And so, if you’re not open to it, then you’re not going to experience the joys of life. Yes, you’ll miss out on some sadness and some frustration, but also I feel like a lot of the joys are in the spontaneity of life.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        And it’s important to control what you can control, to do some of the things we talked about like journal, like plan, lay out your priorities, try and schedule things, try and block things in chunks so that you’re more efficient, ask for help when you can, rely on other people that have better strengths in certain tasks than you instead of saying. “I’m going to do everything.” But, if you do all that, then I feel like if you have as much dialed in as you can, then you’re also in a position that when change happens or things come up that you can deal with them better. Now, instead of everything seeming like chaos, it’s fortuitous.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        It’s good change and it’s something that you see is as, “Oh, this is cool,” at least more often than not. And again, I think those moments that people talk about in a conversation, like “Man, this is a crazy story.” Whatever follows that.

Tim:              Yeah.

Shawn:        Or, “You’ll never believe how I met my wife.”

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Or, “Yeah, I got this job and in the wildest way.” These moments that really define your life are because of unplanned events.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Those are the ones you remember. People don’t like hold onto it like, “I planned this thing for three weeks and I just remember the heck out of it.”

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        You remember the things that are so spontaneous that are unexpected surprises. You know, when someone has twins or something. I was like, “Whoa, twins.” It’s like, “That’s cool.” I mean, stuff like that is like where life is. Here’s an example. If you had a Christmas tree and all the presents were unwrapped underneath the Christmas tree. You run down, it’s Christmas morning, you’re like, “Oh, here’s my 20 presents. I see them all.” Is that as fun as if they’re wrapped up and you’re tearing off the paper one-by-one and you’re like, “Oh my God, here’s this thing.”

Tim:              Exactly.

Shawn:        Obviously, that’s where the joy is in surprise, and I will encourage you actually, if you don’t feel like there’s enough surprise in your life, to plan more surprises. Have someone in your life surprise you. Tell your spouse, “I want a surprise birthday party” or whatever because there’s nothing better than surprises. You haven’t grown out of it. You haven’t grown past it. I’m sorry you haven’t.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        So, find that kid inside and enjoy that Christmas-type moment more in life.

Tim:              That’s a great point. Many great points there, but the one you just talked about having your spouse do something for you. If you are a spouse and you just like–

Shawn:        Or a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Tim:              Right. If you have a significant other or even I’ve got a really good friend; any kind of relationship and you kind of get in the routine of doing the same things over and over. Be the one who brings that spontaneity, brings that change to the other person’s life. Because one, not only does it create excitement for you both in the relationship and for them, it really shows the other person you care.

Shawn:        You care. You’re thinking.

Tim:              Wow, you wanted to do something awesome for me and I really appreciate that. Quick book recommendation for anyone, but particularly for people who may be a little bit resistant to change. There’s a book called Who Moved My Cheese. It’s a short read. It’s maybe like 40-50 pages, and it’s by an author named Spencer Johnson. And the story is like this little parable about three mice in a maze. And their cheese, their food, is always put in the same place every day in the maze. Well, one day the cheese gets moved. And so the one mouse is just like, “Cool, I’m going to go find it.” Well, the other two stayed there like, “No, this is where the cheese is always supposed to be. We’re not going anywhere.” And after two or three days, the second mouse says, “The cheese ain’t coming back. I need to go find the cheese.” So he goes and he finds the cheese. Well, the third mouse is just resistant to change. Not interested in going to look for the cheese, so he stays there and he stays there. And the cheese never comes to him and he never goes to get the cheese, and of course, the mouse dies. But it’s just kind of this parable that we have to change, we have to be open to change.

Shawn:        I feel like you just saved us 50 pages though.

Tim:              Yeah.

Shawn:        I don’t know how much you can expound on that story.

Tim:              Not much. Anyway, it’s a good share.

Shawn:        It is. It’s a great parable.

Tim:              Or if you’re someone who knows someone who’s resistant to change, now that I’ve spoiled the story for you, give it to them.

Shawn:        There you go. Okay. I mean, it is a great parable. I do like that. I’ll remember that. I was told that we, as humans, do not learn well from lists, even though ironically, we’re reading a list. We learn from metaphors. So, we like stories and we are engaged by storytelling.

Tim:              I’ve used the snowball one and I’ve used the cheese one here. Where’s your story?

Shawn:        I’m falling short. I’m not the “hostess with the mostest” today. So, the next one on the list of life hacks is, “Become a role model.” This is good. We’ve talked a lot about this.

Tim:              Yes, this is definitely one of those life hacks we’ve talked about.

Shawn:        Being a mentor, being a coach. There’s a saying that says, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” If you’re tired of not having the right people around you, if you’re tired of let’s say you’re someone who’s going to church and you show up at this church and no one shakes your hand and no one says, “Hey, how you doing?” And you’re like, “Man, this church sucks.” That stuff’s all impactful, right? I mean, are you that person? Are you that mentor? Are you going out of your way when someone’s in the elevator say, “Hey, how you doing? Have a great day.” You know, when the waiter comes over you’re like, “Hey Tom, nice to meet you. I’m really interested to hear what the specials are today.” Or, “How are you doing?”

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        It’s like, “Whoa. Okay, this guy took the trouble to learn my name, ask me how I’m doing. What’s that all about?” It changes someone’s whole day. But being that mentor, we all need those. We’re all going to have low points, we’re all going to have self-doubt. I deal with something as a high achiever called “imposter syndrome” that I have to battle sometimes. Like should I be here? Do I deserve to be here?

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Am I going to be good enough if I get up on stage and speak? Am I an imposter? Are they going to find me out? And it’s something that you deal with. But if I have mentors around me, they say, “No, you’re not an imposter, Shawn. You’re really good at what you do. You’re passionate about what you do, and I’m here to lift you up. I’m here to remind you of your areas of genius. I’m here to remind you of your passion. I’m here to remind you of your experience.” And I’m like, “Okay, good. I got this.” So, I have those people, but I have to be that person as well.

Tim:              And you are. I mean, you are, for so many of us, an incredible role model.

Shawn:        That’s really kind. I wasn’t fishing there.

Tim:              No, I know, but I thought it was the perfect place for me to interject. And it kind of leads me to something else that I thought about is to act like you know that people are watching.

Shawn:        Wow.

Tim:              I don’t think that you are actively—in some cases you are, you are actively reaching out to people as a mentor, as a role model, but I think just you live by example. And you that’s what I’m saying with know people are watching. You live by an example and people are drawn to you because of that example that you set, like you’ve talked about before, surround yourself with people that are better than you, that are healthier than you, that are doing the things you want to do. That’s why people are coming to you. So, I’m encouraging listeners to do the same thing. What would you want from someone else? Be that person. And know that people are watching. So, clean up your act, if you’re not doing things that you’d want people to see, necessarily.

Shawn:        That’s so true.

Tim:              Or that you want people to follow.

Shawn:        So true. I’ve definitely got really effective mentors around me, as I’ve made a focus to be a mentor. You know, it’s a give-and-take thing. No one wants to be in a one‑sided relationship.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        It’s just not healthy. So, if you want that person around you, if you want those positive voices, if you want to be lifted up. And everyone does. Everyone wants encouragement, everyone wants love, everyone wants attention. It’s not selfish. Those are things we want and we thrive on, so be that person. It’s pretty simple. It kind of goes back to the golden rule.

Tim:              Exactly.

Shawn:        Which is forever profound. This next one, man, this is definitely one of the top life hacks. There’s some people that I know like this literally could transform their life, that are very close to me. I don’t want to delve too deep into this one, but just some family stuff that makes me really think hard on is, “Forgive someone who hurt you.” Again, this list is pretty heavy with life hacks. This isn’t usually on a list of ways to better success or longer life, or whatever. They’re kind of more simplistic than some of these are. But that’s pretty profound because I think you can live with that pain.

You can torment yourself for a long time. Not only are you living with that pain day‑to‑day, that emptiness inside, but you’re denying, obviously, yourself of someone that matters to you. And even if that person’s in your life, they’re not in your life to the degree that they could be, to the depth that they could be because you’re holding onto something and you’re not letting it go.

And I would encourage anyone listening right now, if you are feeling that feeling, if when I say you need to forgive someone, something immediately comes to mind, forgive that person because it’s destroying you. I mean, literally, of all those things on this list, this one may be the most powerful to change your life. You’re holding onto something that’s probably destroying you on the inside and is destroying that other person, and it’s time to move on.

And maybe sometimes you forgive a person that’s done something awful to you—molestation, rape, whatever, and that forgiveness just means you’re not going to let it hurt you any longer, and you’re not going to have this person in your life. No. But you’re not going to let it hurt you any longer, and you’re moving past it. Now, there’s some people that have hurt you, but you would want in your life. Maybe it’s a brother or father, or a mother. You’re just holding onto this and you do want them back in your life, and you can have them back in your life, if you just forgive.

Tim:              Yeah, like you said, that’s very powerful, Shawn. Even deeper than we talked about that anger before. Holding onto those grudges and those negative feelings, and letting that just weigh you down for so long. I will say that there’s probably times when some negativity can actually inspire positivity. I think about silly examples like when an athlete doesn’t get drafted in the position that he thinks he should, and “I got drafted in the third round. I thought I was a first-round pick. And I’m going to show those guys.” And then goes on to have a tremendous successful career and inspire others. Or if someone told you “no” that you couldn’t do what you really dreamed to do, and I’m going to use that to fuel my fire. So, perhaps there’s instances where we use that negativity to help us flourish.

Shawn:        Sure.

Tim:              But to what you’re getting at, when it’s just wearing you down and weighing you down and just sticking with you for years and years, you have to find a way to get past it, to really allow the best you. And that’s what this whole list about, becoming the best version of you. You have to shed that armor that’s just weighing you down. You have to get through it; whether it’s talking to counselor or therapist, or praying over it, meditating over it, whatever it is, talking to a friend and things like that. It’s not easy. It’s not like you’re going to forget about it, but you have to work your way through it to become the best version of you, for everyone else.

Shawn:        Yeah, and chances are over time you you’re going to become jaded too, with other relationships, I mean, if you’re holding onto things like that. So, man, I think this is one that I think we both do a good job at. I think we both have kind of that teacher mentality, that empathy. But a lot of people are very terrible at this one. And I’m not tooting our own horns, but I think this is a place where we excel, but a lot of people are very bad at this, “Listen to people more.” That’s truly one of these life hacks. And a lot of people just want to be heard and just want to talk, and cut each other off. And that’s not fair. That’s not of value. The value is in respecting the person that you’re talking with and listening to them actively, because they’re speaking. So, honor them by processing what they are saying. Wait, be patient, and then talk.

I find this one actually very frustrating with people that I’ve interacted with. I think it’s just deeply rude. It literally says you don’t matter, I don’t care what you’re saying, I just want to say what I need to say. And some people say, “Oh, well, I wanted to get it out before I forgot it,” or there’s excuses. But it’s rude. It is so rude. And you will not make quality relationships. You won’t get to a deep place with a friend. And if you want real friends that are there for through thick and thin, you have to listen to them. You have to process, you have to be patient, you have to let them say what they need to say. Bare their soul sometimes. Sometimes say things that are inappropriate, but they need to rant. And just let them talk. Give them their time and then you can speak. And that’s just being courteous.

Tim:              For sure, Shawn. I mean, we’ve talked about communication before being one of these life hacks, but communication is not just talking. Communication is also listening and hearing what the other person has to say. So that’s another reason why that’s such an effective tool. And that’s something that I’ve learned tremendously from my wife, is just the ability to listen. Again, we talked about my wife, Amie, before, and she’s a counselor. She literally soaks up and listens to people throughout the day. And I’m always amazed by her ability to do that. And I think that draws people to her because she’s so good at that.

But like you said, so many people just want to say what they have to say. You also mentioned the golden rule earlier, and that also reminds me here, of the same thing. Like you said, we want to be heard, so why wouldn’t we expect the same thing from others, right?

Shawn:        Right. And we tend to envision the most brilliant people as the loudest person in the room, that a person that’s up on stage or on the battlefield saying rah rah-rah-rah. But you know, when I think of the most brilliant people I know, like Dr. Ryan Lowery, my best friend. He’s an incredible listener. Like you said, he’s soaking everything up. He’s always watching, observing, listening, and then taking all those skills. And then it’s like his x-men superpower is to take all your skills and then they’re his.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        And he’s brilliant as a result. He’s put himself around brilliant people and he listens to them. I think you’re missing out if you’re not listening to the people around you.

Tim:              Agreed.

Shawn:        So, that leads into the next one of these life hacks that’s really good in the way it’s connected, “Listen to yourself.” That’s pretty powerful again. Do you feel like this is a strength for you?

Tim:              I think this is one of those life hacks that I’m working on getting better at. When I read that, “listen to yourself,” I think of a couple things. One, I think that what I take away from that is that we are incredible sources of feedback for ourselves. We just need to listen to our bodies and how they’re reacting to the food that we’re putting into them into, into the lifestyles that we’re leading. Are we getting the amount of sleep that we’re needing. How am I feeling in response to something that’s been communicated to me, or with my life in general.

So, the one thing I get from that is listen to your body better, and document how things are going. But something that’s important to me that I need to work on is listening to how I communicate to not only others, but myself.

Shawn:        Right.

Tim:              And we’ve talked about this before with the negative talk. I actively catch myself making those excuses or actively catching myself saying negative things about myself. I can almost see it on my wife’s face when I start to say something like that she’s like, “Oh, here we go.”

Shawn:        Or even that things are just destined and you have no control and like “It figures. Oh, well. Guess so. Who cares.” All that kind of language is just so destructive.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        Who cares? You should care.

Tim:              Yeah.

Shawn:        You should care about the decisions you make. You should care about your life. Just think about the words you’re saying, like, “Oh well”? It’s not, “Oh, well.” The things you’re saying really determine your joy, determine your life path, determine the people that are around you, determine your success. So what are you saying?

Tim:              And I would just say, again, as you’re saying those things, look at yourself from the outside. And if you saw someone else saying the same things, with the same body language, and the same negativity, how would that make you feel?

Shawn:        Right.

Tim:              Would you be like, “Oh, I feel so sorry for you.” Or would you be like, “You’re pathetic. Get over it. Pick it up. Clean up your act and let’s go.” How would you respond if you saw someone else saying those same things, and that’s you who’s saying them. So, I don’t know, just the idea of looking at yourself from the outside, sometimes is important.

Shawn:        Agreed, yeah. I’ve seen some people talk about that, like when they saw themselves on video. It was like, “Wow,” like eye-opening.

Tim:              Right. I think this is a number nine, right?

Shawn:        Yeah, okay it is. So this is the big one. This is the grand finale of the life hacks. So, thank you everyone for sticking with us. “Learn something new.” This is so awesome. And I think this is like in our wheelhouse because we’re more passionate about learning new stuff. We read all the time. We like to have that creative and curious mind.

I think science gets portrayed sometimes like it’s this finite set of rules and it’s definitive and clear-cut, and it’s not. Science is ever-changing. The rules are ever‑changing. It’s a quest for truth that you’ll never actually get to. Science really isn’t that different from religion. It takes faith and it’s really all about the quest. You’re digging in for answers, but you’ll never truly have all the answers because it’s always changing. Science is always changing. There’s always new data to look at. And whenever you even do look at data, it’s like well this is what happened in this specific circumstance or this specific group, with this, and it’s not indicative of everything all the time. What do we always talk about? Oh, it’s individualized for you. It’s individualized results. Well, it depends on the circumstance.

So, there’s always something new to learn. And there’s just so much that is out there and that keeps your life fresh. That’s why travel is fun. That’s why new experiences are fun. We talked about spontaneity before. This is like so much of like what makes life a joy. If we already knew all the answers, if we were like some super‑genius and we had all the answers, life would be boring. I mean, for one, you wouldn’t have the joy of discovery, but two, you wouldn’t be interacting with other people and learning and listening from them.

Tim:              Right.

Shawn:        To grow, right? I mean, you’d be denying yourself of the joy of self-discovery, the joy of listening to other people and their discoveries, and you wouldn’t be that curious mind. And life is so fun with spontaneity and curiosity.

Tim:              I love the word “discovery” that you used. I mean, that’s just exciting to see what’s out there. Exploration. Again, I can come back to my daughter, who’s almost 2 years old now, and just everything is so new to her. And to see the excitement and the pure joy in her face when she’s introduced to new things and new responsibilities, that’s life.

Shawn:        Right.

Tim:              That’s just pure. Yeah, so whatever it is, if it’s new languages, new travel, new science. We’re not meant to be static creatures. We’re very dynamic, and there’s so many different experiences that we can enjoy, people that we can enjoy, books, music. All these different enriching activities that make us better, and that’s what this whole show, that’s what our whole purpose here is about is helping people become better, and the best version of you. And better is it’s like more. It’s that snowball effect again. There’s just more and more. It’s not ever about being static. It’s about continuously evolving to be the best version of you.

Shawn:        That’s beautiful, Tim. I think I’m going to end on that because that’s perfect. This is a phenomenal list, and hopefully everyone enjoyed this. I know I did. Honestly, when we go through this stuff, I feel like it’s self-discovery for me.

Tim:              Sure.

Shawn:        I feel like I’m listening to some of the things I’m coming up with, and it surprises me. And then I listen to your thoughts and I’m like, “That’s interesting.” I’m here doing this this episode and it’s really just as much for me as it is the people listening, if not moreso.

Tim:              Absolutely.

Shawn:        This is really a joy for me. Hopefully you guys get that feeling that you sense the joy that Tim and I have to do this episode and be a voice in your ear, and be a friend by your side. We’re here for you and we enjoy doing this, and we want to hear from you.

There’s a whole community that you can interact with here at BioTrust, BioTrust.com/VIP. If you want the show notes and all the links that we go through, go to BioTrustRadio.com and you can get everything there. You can also, obviously, get all these podcasts on Stitcher, Google Play, and iTunes. Make sure to subscribe and download them. Give us a positive review if you feel like it. And then definitely give us that feedback because it steers the direction of the show, and we care to provide great content for you. And hopefully that’s something, again, you can appreciate. So, we really love you guys and we appreciate you, and we will talk to you soon.

Tim:              Take care, gang.